We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
The only good thing about trampolines when you're fucked up is the gushing blood really cleans all the bad coke out of your nose.
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
let's just say I never want to get pulled over and have to explain to the cop why I'm wearing a false beard again.
No, no, we have to calibrate. What is the maximum amount of trouble we can get into without going to jail?
Discovered that a nalgene holds an entire bottle of wine. Going mobile. Come find me.
If you don't want me in your apartment then lock your door better
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
I'm only coming over if you have cocaine or a snickers bar
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
dont go in the freezer to fetch your weed. my vibrator may or may not be in there. not sayin, just sayin
Randomize
