Nicole vs. Life
That cute girl I hooked up with last night clawed my back to hell and gave me a hickey. I look like a white trash warewolf victim
LMAO!!! just remembered you said this to me last night. "sometimes you post too many Jesus tweets. It's not that that's really bad... But I roll my eyes and you should know that."
I was drunk but it's true
So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
So I just used shazaam to figure out a pairs figure skating song. I don't think I could get any gayer.
then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
you left me with this keg alone. this is on your hands
Bad news: I found out that girl you want has a boyfriend. Good news: she'll probably cheat on him with you. Better news: after seeing the way she treats him, that's the most interaction you're going to want with her anyway. Trust me.
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
It was like if the scent of sour milk and burning tires had a baby in taste form.
Is there a number of dicks a girl can have in a weekend before it becomes unacceptable? Asking for a friend
Remember! It’sa long weekend and a holiday weekend and it’s America’s birthday! So don’t short change me!
I thought you were asking for a friend
Randomize
