I just remembered I gave a homeless man a ride to his bridge last night.
since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
its raining. im dressed as yoda and im trick or treating alone. and i wonder why im still a virgin..
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
You know, he picked a really shitty time to stop sleeping with me to pay attention to his girlfriend.
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
I like her. She smells like old lady but tastes like whiskey
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
a guy offered me a piece of pizza if I'd make out with a random girl. We got the whole damn box and I ain't even mad
Her son walked in on us and asked if he could "wrestle too."
I bet your mom's never met a girl who's thrown up at the presidential inauguration before though.
THERE IS JIZZ ON MY CEILING. HOW THE FUCK IS THERE JIZZ ON MY CEILING
Randomize
