She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
We're drinking vodka. Wine is for people who have to wake up in the morning.
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
I was out with the drag queens until 7am. This is the hangover I needed to kick my ass back to sobriety. Dear Virgin Mary, fuck my life.
Shitshow foam night was such a success
When in doubt, it's too much cheese
My entire grocery store purchase consisted of Little Debbie snacks and Budweiser
We got caught fucking on the couch while I was in my Godzilla onesie.
All I want for my birthday to be fingered and eat pizza
It's scary that my vibrator is a dangerous weapon. I want a new one.
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
Randomize
