lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
you know you are hungover when... you set your alarm for the next time you think you are going to throw up
she said "can't you just pull out and cum on my face? I hate scooping jizz out of my vag".
I'm assuming you texted me by mistake. you're not jizzing in or on me again, thanks for playing, douchebag.
i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
I came in your room, you looked at me and said "I fucked up" and then some kid showed up and took you to the hospital
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
I got really high and googled the history of Amish people for like an hour.
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
oh my god you are days, if not hours away from a dick pic. This is the day the lord has made rejoice and be glad in it
You shouldn't play strip poker when you're having a wet fart kind of day.
I LACK THE NECESSARY BRAIN FUNCTIONS TO BE ABLE TO PROPERLY RESPOND TO THAT
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
just realized we fucked to the ultimate disney playlist last night. hakuna matata.
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