My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
she chugged a bowl of salsa and then gave my ferret weight loss tips. she's like my fucking spirit animal now
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
Chuck job is nothing more than to be my dick stand when I'm too drunk to hold it while pissing
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
I don't think people appreciate how hard it is to fuck in a portapotty. Sarah and I had train for that shit.
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
dude, I felt like being high in a Santa hat and eating five boxes of cookies was right for today.
You introduced her by saying, "This is the girl who sexes me." Then you passed out on the coffee table.
I'm gonna cum garlic butter
I screamed "You look like a guy I've fucked!" to your brother at a party... I have some explaining to do.
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
Randomize
