At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
she made my bed before she left. i think i'm gonna keep banging her to get the housework done
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
We told you to stay put for 2 minutes. We come back out and your being handcuffed yelling "DO YOU FEEL LIKE A GOOD FUCKING PERSON ARRESTING ME ON MY BIRTHDAY?!"
Somehow me not being able to breathe due to cocaine doesn't seem very domesticated.
My goal for tonight is to swipe my debit card through those weird rolls on the back of a big bald guy's head.
I drunk-cried for all conjoined twins everywhere the other day.
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
He sat next to me, put his arm around me, yelled at his girlfriend that he was breaking up with her, and told me I'm his little pet for the night.
In all honesty the person most likely to secretly slip me drugs would be ... Me
He let me share his family pack of hot pockets with him. Chivalry isn't dead after all.
I know it's super late on a work night, but can you drop by and bend me over my new motorcycle? I have tequila and tacos...
Randomize
