Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
Whose surfboard did we steal and why is there a wood carving of a pelican in the fridge where the beer used to be?
The iPad is going to make my porn collection SO much more glossier... thanks steve jobs.
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
don't ever tell me how terrible your next walk of shame is until you run into your little brother on his way to class.
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
Apparently it's bring your ugly annoying ass piece of shit slob of a baby day at work
I got laxative. And a toothbrush. Because who wants to buy just laxative on a Friday night?
I just got invited to party with a bunch of elderly lesbians I am in no position to offer life advice
You made me drive your car so you could give the dude from the parking lot a BJ in the back seat. Classy.
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
I literally just skipped to the fridge when I realized we had enough vodka left to get day drunk
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
Randomize
