can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
he called you a drunk bob the builder and you proceeded to explain how you were going to build ramps throughout the house
Why do you keep getting laid in MY dreams
You scratched my dick last night. It deserves an apology and I fell that actions speak louder than words when it comes to apologies like this.
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
I think I just snorted head and shoulders by mistake.
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
Have you ever been up at one in the morning and thought to yourself, "I do not know nearly enough about penguin reproduction"?
Fuck you i've put so many pretzels in her shirt
What the fuck dude? Now it's a "who is this?" convo going back and forth. Like... helllloooo you just sent me a picture of your penis! I'm entitled to ask who the fuck it is. I can't verify an identity by a body part.
I guarantee you he will only fuck with old bitches from now on
Randomize
