Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
If you weren't supposed to have sex with your ex then they wouldn't rhyme.
Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
I made him breakfast and we cuddled on the couch watching march of the penguins, which is, in case you were unaware, the opposite of fucking on a pool table
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
While I was fucking him, he grabbed a taco off his shelf and started eating it. I had taco dripped on me. I have no idea where the taco came from.
you put your hands over the taxi driver's eyes and shouted GUESS THE WAY TO THE CLUB
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
Just saw Santa sitting on a restaurant patio drinking beer and using his free hand to gesture to cars that he's watching them
Are you going to eat tacos off the floor again?
If you can throw 105 mph it’s mandatory that you’re hung.
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
Randomize
