I cant find my shoes, my wallet, or my keys, but i know where your sister is.
But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
You know, he picked a really shitty time to stop sleeping with me to pay attention to his girlfriend.
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
Second wind. Either that or my heart is about to explode. I'm hoping the first one.
I bruised my vagina when I was climbing out of the trash can.
It mathmatically balances. Less pants + more shirt = fully clothed. see? Not a whore!
I could not actually bring myself to utter the phrase "donkey cock" in front of my father. Not possible.
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
I don't really feel bad about it, but I legit just squirted in the back of an Uber and it makes me think how many times has this happened before?!?!
The number of threesomes I have agreed to seems to increase every time I talk to you drunk...
He’s like an awkward walking penis that has a personality attached
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize
