He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
Only at my house do scrabble games turn into fist fights. I won though... the fight not the board game.
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
Thanks for getting me home last night.
No worries. I'll always be there for you, just like Mufasa.
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
Speaking of roommates, Kelsey and I woke up to urine in our trash can. Neither one of us is willing to admit to it so we've come to the conclusion that someone snuck into our room in the middle of the night
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
Had a dream I was doing scat with Caroline. I need to lay off the cheese at night
Wow i just puked in front of the lady that was drug testing me. I passed though!
dude the dog literally grabbed the condom out of the trash can and threw it in the air i'm screaming
It's totally a relationship. we have sex in other people's beds, watch mad men while high and get drunk on his teammates' beer. don't you dare stomp on my dreams with your societal judgments
Randomize
