The bar is so dead the tender gave us free shots for staying. They mixed 2pac and phil collins. That's worth at least three shots.
and next time when you feel me up, do it right
I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
my mom just told me its unladylike to have toothpaste stains on my clothes all the time.. if she only knew.
I'm heating up a hotdog using a candle.
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
CORAL IS FAR MORE RED THAN HER LIPS RED
Oh god you're Sonnet 130 drunk, aren't you.
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
He accidentally opened the car door during sex and all the lights came on. Needless to say, that kid passing by who was walking his dog got scarred for life.
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
I have a tattoo that says Yolo. You should not have been asking my advice in the first place
Drunk sperm are not productive sperm.
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
Randomize
