People in love make me want to vomit
this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
Fuck. I just got my nipple tweaked by a plus size drag queen in a purple dress. I feel like I got molested by Grimace.
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
He kept walking up to every girl at the party saying "Hi, I'm George Clooney. No I won't marry you." He left with three girls.
I paid your brother in tostitos to drive me home.
We had a One Night Stand 6 months ago but he just Facebook invited me to his wedding. Who the fuck does that.
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
You should've seen the look on the guys face when I demanded pho and a beer the second they opened. Obviously he doesn't understand hangovers
I'm just happy stripping was the reason you fractured your hand
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
Randomize
