So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
Dude, I think my check liver light just came on
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
Jesus once told his disciples that its better to hang out with your best friend than give some douche bag a bj.
Oh my Christ. I just came so hard my penis stood back up and took a bow afterwards. I need Thai food.
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
Oh and I'm kind of in the library.
Waiting for the foreign guy who keeps staring to make his creepy move.
i tried giving myself a bikini wax.1. i hate you 2. i think i'm dying
She just walked out of her bedroom naked and asked me to help put her diaper on. Yeah, that pretty much sums up the last 24 hours...
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
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