She knew it was going down when I had her search for "condoms" in my iPhone Maps.
I literally just watched a girl motorboat herself
For some reason i am carrying prostate cancer brochures. i am nor used to drinking this early.
My mom just told me the story of how she met my dad through prison. How was your saturday?
I didn't pop out of a cake in a speedo with diagrams
In case that's what u were picturing
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
You know your horny when you have a sex dream about Ace Ventura, if your wondering he's awful
i woke up inside a girl that i promised i would take on a date to Chili's
the only reason I'm still sleeping with him is to get the university's secure wifi password
Forever getting my life back together in gas station bathrooms.
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
I haven't had sex since the Vanilla Ice concert
Please don't have sex ever again just so you can say that forever.
There's a big difference between a penis and a toilet.
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
Just filed for child support I hope he gets the paperwork on Father's Day
Randomize
