That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
don't worry i just saved a song to my personal usb drive to give to the dj at the bar. he's playing old school jlo whether he likes it or not.
The used rubbers I threw behind her bed all semester must have landed on the baseboard heater. They went up in smoke when she turned on the heat last night.
The chick working the drive through at BK on New Years stuck her head out the window and told me there were no line ups for the bathrooms inside so i should go in there. I just kept squatting and peeing and told her it would prob help business.
Halfway through the blowjob she stopped and said 'Wait I know this dick'.
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
Dude, tumbleweeds have been rolling through my bed lately. This is my dryest dry spell since I was married.
Are you feeling better yet?
I need a nap and a new butthole
I'm laying in my bed in the fetal position with a bag of frozen peas on my head and the bathroom trashcan next to me. Fucking tequila.
I woke up uncovered, spread eagled to my dad saying "you really need to stop sleeping naked."
What does it mean when the bartender gives you 4 straws?
The cat likes watching me spank Michael. I don’t know how to feel about this.
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
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