WTF. you left me with no condoms and you ate all my mac and cheese. scumbag.
btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
but his dog just died...ill send him an edible arrangement or a 6 pack or something
he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
She told me at midnight she would blow me harder than a new years party kazoo
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
I replied to the university automated mass text about the armed robbery at the on-campus Starbucks with a sad face. Basically sums up my night.
Tell me why I keep soberly hesitating to go pee in fear of breaking the seal. Thank you college.
Today's been pretty great, I went and bought the new Batman for the sole purpose of masturbating to Bane
who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
Let's just say, I'm pretty sure you're banned from Skype.... like, forever.
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
hey, just so we're clear, next time we go swimming drunk at my house, we have to use the floating chairs instead of my mattress. i'm not sure how to get it out of the pool.
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