the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
Talk about the highs and lows of a night out: had a threesome, then got robbed at knifepoint.
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
you woke me up just to tell me that I was beautiful in every way possible. Then you proceeded to fall asleep with your mouth on my boob.
I just realized I have yet to puke in your new apartment. Clearly we're doing something wrong. On my way over with Cuervo as I type.
he tried breathing fire using moonshine and a roman candle. would not have believed it unless i actually witnessed it.
It feels like one of my ribs evaporated.
The pastor just stopped the sermon to lay hands on me. THAT hungover.
Faking my way through an entire party as a British exchange student. Wish me luck.
I mean it's like...I'm sorry I slept with your boyfriend but is it my fault that he failed to mention you when I was giving him head in the Dave and Busters bathroom?
There is so much wrong with that sentence
Yeah there really shouldn't be a bar at D&B's...shit gets real
Just licked cheese from my hot pocket off my phone. I spilled because I was eating a Popsicle at the same time. Send an adult please
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
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