I'm sorry I'm just not ready to become vampire yet
mark looks like s**t tonight! thank da lawd we broke up!
it's mark...i'm guessing you didn't mean to send that to me...
he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
another holiday season passes without receiving a dick in a box, where did i go wrong in life?
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
my phone calendar just alerted me that it's "weed time" in 15 minutes. do not remember setting that alert last night...
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
Apparently I missed the "You may have to jack off a horse" part of the application.
I just bought a bottle of lube for my car.
I use my feet as sexual weapons
dude, where did you go? french fries taste like numbers
You're moving up the public shitting ladder
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