I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
I just found out my first birthday was a keg party. Suddenly everything makes sense
i feel like my life is a cheap remake of American Pie
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
I just found ouut you can get a DUI in a kayak. Fuck.
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
She told me she gets scared easily and that I had to protect her. Then I made a condom joke that ended up making her cry... All bad dude
door buzzer is fixed. took shots with Latvian electrician to celebrate. nice guy. he is gonna bring mixers next time cuz kombucha didn't really cut it for him.
Would I chase a raccoon with a flaming stick sober?
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...
I am dancing alone in my bathroom because I was paranoid the neighbors were watching through the windows
Randomize
