ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
I hope whoever gets these locks of love doesn't have a drug test anytime soon
Does slim fast make a chocolate heart for valentines? If so that's what she's getting.
I'm also annoyed at my horoscope for not warning me of my perils
I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
I had to brake up with him.
In my experience drinking helps.
You dont want to know why?
Not really. I want to drink.
AND FUCKING MGMT JUST CAME ON. CAN I GO DROWN MYSELF IN LESBIANS OR SOMETHING? IS IT TIME TO LESBIAN
we're fated to lesbian
I asked him if we could switch positions so I could watch the Olympics... I'd say date number two is a miss
Two guys I banged regularly got married this week. I need vodka.
I need to immerse myself in a tub of peroxide to kill whatever traces of him are on me.
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
this is a mass text: the cage has been opened. repeat, the cage has been opened. a search party will be organized. you are all sloppy bitches. that is all.
I probably should have told her I was actually the drunkest one there before she let me pierce her ear
Randomize
