I did something stupid with eggs call me when you get up. Cops were also involved.
I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
I swear to God, I saw my life flash between my legs.
i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
All she kept whispering was put your pickle in my mouth. Then she fell out of her barstool and chipped her tooth
I'M ALSO PLAYING VIDEO GAMES AND THINKING ABOUT ORDERING A PJIZZA. I'M NOT SURE WHAT MY MUSTACHE WANTS.
The typical response to someone smacking their vodka soaked hand on your face is not to put your face in their crotch
You sent 2 glasses of water to the table next us and told to the waitress they were on you. I repeat: water
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
Like either my tits got bigger or I've succumbed to Trumps tiny hand syndrome
I climbed to the top of a stripper pole and touched the ceiling. Accomplishment?
Randomize
