can we take a shower together?
no need for the romantic shit. I'm a sure thing
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
bring the vodka.
i thought we were going to mcdonalds..?
we are.
Hashbrowns don't come out your nose as easily as you would think
I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
Everyone agrees they like your mother better drunk
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
Tell nick i'm sorry for throwing a block of cheese at him last night
Boob shaped ice luge is ordered for my bday. Boom
I can't even drink.
The liquor comes out the nipples. Out. The. Nipples.
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
He was a foot taller than me and my hands were bigger than his, it's called Pity head
Randomize