All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire.
also: i found my "nug jug", actually the baby did, but either way it got returned to its rightful owner
Im going to buy a thermometer. If its above 104 im going to the hospital if its under 104 im going to the bar
I've never seen a grown man cry so much after getting jerked off by a stripper. I say it's the best $600 he ever spent.
whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
Last time I sleep with a guy with a penchant to fragrance his dick. Every time I sit to pee, I get a whiff of Axe body spray.
The cabbie told me fat girls shouldn't wear tight clothes, and that he feels bad for the guys that have to be underneath them, especially because their positions are "very limited" and proceeded to ask me if I had a trash can and if I could throw something away for him. Don't worry though, he promised it wasn't anything "bad". He then handed me a tied up grocery bag with a bunch of wadded up Kleenex that weighed about 3 pounds. To answer your question, yes I made it home. Fml
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
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