She was running around the bar, demanding everyone call her Jesus or else she would attack them like a llama. ack.
So gin and wine won't be happening again
in hindsight, $10 Malibu buckets were a terrible idea...
I hate the hobo that sits outside our building
Joe or Chris?
do i even wanna kno y u kno their names?
well i came home drunk one night and Chris offered me a beer as i was coming in, it was kinda weird but i wasn't goin to deny a free beer. you're proolly talkin about Joe though, he's the one with the fucked up eye.
i feel like our whole relationship was one big acid trip
I just saw a guy getting escorted with handcuffs on, I'm too drunk to be at the airport right now.
... there are chew marks on my license. I have no idea.
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
Right, because I totally see myself driving all the way down there to fuck his world famous penis.
The last thing I searched on my phone was "leave in conditioner on cats." This is where my life is.
I just peed on a rich man's lawn fuck yeah America
He told me I'm a small core of pure evil wrapped up in sweetness, gold, and puppies. He gets me.
That is beautiful
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
Don't worry about it too much, but I just committed us to possibly raising a kid
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
Randomize
