Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
i had a dream that your penis turned into a long neck dinosaur
did it start talking like on Land before time?
dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
Call me in 2 minutes and go along with what I say. You're hysterical and I must go comfort you asap. He just asked if I was ready to experience sex with a wizard and he wasnt kidding.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
Im trying to find an appropriate gift to your mom for getting both you and your sister on birth control within a week, any suggestions?
we got 12 live crabs and then we got really stoned and know we're playing with the crabs. thats nom watermellon nom. now i'm plaing with a crap whos such a gentleman
Upon further investigation it turns out it wasn't blood, but chocolate frosting from the cupcake I shoved in my pocket to "save for later"
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
Ita all starting to make sense i need vodka like i need air
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
I asked you for a cigarette and you handed me your phone and told me to search for one
Side note: I just realized that I can make my hand warmers double as a heated push up bra.
Randomize
