So explain to me again how you wake up next to a Brazilian model and I wake up next to a turkey sub? And a jar of grey poupon.
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
I want to take my head off and cuddle with it
Maybe it will forgive me and stop being an asshole
Christ, I really took the slutcake last night.
Wait. Someome brought slutcake?
I got my little bro high for the first time... Turns out the two of us stoned together is a mess. We spent 10 minutes trying to communicate with each other using just our eyebrows.
Sometimes you just gotta fuck a has been local celebrity for your 15 minutes.
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
Let's have sex in an apple orchard
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
At one point I believe I was despencing medical advice while wearing a sombrero and a hulk hand
I had sex in the bed of a guy who owns a house last night so I feel like this is a significant step up from car sex in the parking lot of a library
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
Randomize
