we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
just remembered that i started a tab for just myself at 50 cent beer night last night... i dont understand my life
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
I'm pretty sure every guy I've been with this weekend has made a solid attempt at getting me pregnant...
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
I need to get some goddam control over my hormones
Did anyone see us fucking last night on the giant turtle outside downtown Disney?
Vodka, MiraLAX and Gatorade are perfect for the night before a colonoscopy
I am watching the most amazing drunk person ever. Literally such a trooper that you can put anything in front of him he'll drink it. His latest reason for taking another shot was: well whatever. I'm never gonna get married anyway.
the next morning his mother came in to tell me that she made breakfast. she told me to put my clothes on too. awkward.
Randomize
