I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
Old men and throwing up are my life now.
You're pretty and everything..but you aren't worth the DUI
Changed my sheets. Found a can of rockstar, crushed bag of tostitos, used tissues, and enough of both of our clothes to make a whole outfit.
i think i have that disease where you wake up in strange places drunk.
And there I was, sitting Indian style on the kitchen floor, my fingers covered in peanut butter.
No, this is non-alcoholic oatmeal.
He was spooning with the dog when I came home. Now shes afriad to go near him. Should I ask?
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
I had a sex dream about Fox Mulder, and the Royals just won the World Series. My life is complete.
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
Dude my roommate just peed out the window
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
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