I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
Dude, at this rate we're going to get arrested a second time tonight.
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
I just woke up in bed, rolled over, and found a whole pizza.
this is the second day in a row.
Oh. Yeah. It's the same pizza then.
Got home last night and found a Big Mac in the shower, tampons all over the place, and two pairs of your panties on the front porch.
Brandon's Recipe: two parts cocoa, one part sugar, one part milk, two parts four, 378 parts paranoia. Thanks for the fucking brownies, bitch.
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
at crossfit today a guy shit his pants while deadlifting 405 lbs. coach made fun of him then congratulated him on his new personal record.
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
That cat I follow on Facebook beat cancer so we're drinking tonight in celebration
I just Spray tanned myself while high as fuck its either going to look like a work of art or terrible graffiti
My vibrator turned on under my pillow when I was taking a nap this morning... I nearly shit my pants.
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
Man I just realized that my only life problem right now is that I have to convince myself not to fuck a 19-y-o
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
Randomize
