what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
opening your purse in class to grab a pen only to find dollar bills and pink fuzzy handcuffs instead...that's a cool feeling
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL
you took my bottle from me saying i was unprepared for its magical qualities. then you buckled it in the backseat.
He just asked me if he's allowed to flirt with me. That's how whipped he is.
He wore nothing but a Speedo and a tie to the party. It was great. Everyone was looking at him like "this kid's the best"
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
i believe in u and ur pee
you ripped my door off of the hinges, kicked it in half and then proceeded to throw it down the stairs because i wouldn't make you a cheese burger
He tried to do a JoJo pose and wound up breaking his wrist in the process. Truly a story for the ages.
Let me set the mood for you. Do you remember Britney Spears in her Hit Me Baby One More Time era? Well I just fucked this college girl I shit you not her name is Persephone and she looks exactly like Britney Spears back when she was hot. I might be in love.
Randomize
