If I ever start a band I'm gonna name it "Nancy Reagan's Vagina"
Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
I like how my family gatherings are basically an ugly sweater party just with better beer and wine...
no, didnt close...
What?! she made the first move and invited you back to her place. thats like striking out in t-ball pathetic...
i'll never see her again. i cant remember her last name. this is like cinderella except prince charming drank too much jameson and couldnt save a phone number properly
lesson learned: don't narrate out loud about how a girl is giving you head while she's doing it
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
I think I offered a man a blowjob for his power ranger suite last night...
Just rode a bull topless for a free bar tap for a month
whatever, tonight I’ll be getting my ass eaten by an aussie so we good
QUIT STEALING MY PHONE AND SEXTING MY MOM!!!!
Ugh. All the good hoes are in their third trimester.
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