we have officially lost it.
i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
You know how hard it is to drive a dirtbike down a road with 2 plants of weed on your lap. Fucking hard
Somehow me not being able to breathe due to cocaine doesn't seem very domesticated.
Nice just gets you lonely or dead. I don't like those options.
You lifted he top layer off his birthday cake and made it say 'eat me' in the cookie monster voice so yeah he knew.
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
HOW THE FUCK CAN YOU NOT REMEMBER WHIPPING IT OUT AND PUTTING ON THE BAR?
By the way, you're banned for life.
It was the cape. I can't control myself when I wear a cape.
My roommate just threatened to kill me with my own pan. Can I ever get away from the crazies?!
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
why the hell are you crying over taco bell?
Randomize
