is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
Wine + wine + wine + wine + bud light = puke.
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
a girl walking in front of me just packed her cigarettes 72 times and yes i counted
how much adderall did you take today?
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
apparently "preggers as fuck" isn't an appropriate way to describe someone...
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
I was gonna tell her, but there were too many tongues in my mouth
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
6 beers, 3 orange crushes, & half a fire ball later & you get my alter ego.
I'm a hopeless romantic that likes rough sex. Judge me
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
There is a high possibility I will pass out with my hand in a bag of Doritos
I fell asleep completely naked, standing up with my arms and head in the freezer
My neighbor was my D.A.R.E officer and I feel like I've defeated him by smoking weed outside everyday
Randomize
