I'm pregaming before our pregaming dinner...with peanut butter and beer. I think I need to re-evaluate my budget...
Just the budget?
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
Why is there blood and lettuce everywhere?
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
My only downfall is that I can only take shots in twos.
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
At least you didn't get an invite in the mail to your fuck buddy's baby shower like I just did. My life is a sitcom
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila
It’s the biggest dick I’ve ever seen. His IQ drops 25 points when he’s hard because there’s no blood going to his brain
Randomize
