Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
If burritos were dicks, we'd have a serious relationship problem on our hands. Just saying.
he bonged a 1/5 of jack and came back an hour later blacked out with a legitimate chicago firemans helmet
Were you really trying to feed me potato chips while I was sitting on the toilet?
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
It's only Tuesday and I just measured and checked to see if my 6'5 Friday booty call will fit in the back of my jeep comfortably.
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night?
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
So the doorbell rang while we were banging, and I'm pretty sure the pizza man saw my dick. But hey, we got pizza.
I'm pretty sure that the bartender arranged a marriage for me last night. Sounds like a legit birthday present to me.
It's called life, you pretentious bitch. Grow up.
my morning attempts to try to have sex with him was interrupted by the passion of the christ parade going on outside my house
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