i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
just upper decked a verizon store cause they don't cover against "getting phone crushed by a keg." had to pay 175 for a new one
the problem with open bar is i never know what to get
did you really just start a sentence with "the problem with open bar is..."
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
I will never in my life forget you letting the cat lick your tongue
I'm sorry that I didn't get belligerently drunk and did not put my penis on your neck again
(540): I ran 10 miles and then took a dump behind a rock. What the fuck have you done with a hangover that's comparable?
And know that if I ever text "road head?" that it comes from a place of caring and not a place of heartlessness..
what compelled you to fill her bra with pudding and freeze it in the first place?
i might remember if i didn't get knocked out with it later that day.
We just left the shoe. An app card to Fridays. $25 to santoras and a note that said sorry we were drunk on the front doorstep of the strip club
She's like the Oprah of therapy. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. WITH A PADDED ROOOOM
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
I woke up naked and surrounded by M&Ms
Randomize
