U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
If I die tonight, I want you to know that your sister is awesome in bed
I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.
These people keep looking at me like I'm the first person to ever eat ribs in a Home Depot.
It's my diet secret . . . it's like slimfast but I call it cockfast instead.
My tweets this weekend consisted of me telling every bar I went to that they were my favorite valentine. I've never felt like more of an alcoholic
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
I never actually go in the club. I get in line, hit on a chick, and convince her to come drink all she wants for free at my house.
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
This dude is trying to sext and all I can think about is taco bell and their new crunch wrap sliders
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
I made a separate snapchat account so I could swap nudes with a guy from omegle.
Why do all of your bad decisions sound like fucked up mad libs?
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
Randomize
