She just got back from rehab. You dont celebrate that with margaritas.
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
If I am going to throw out this whole "born again virgin" thing...i'm not going to do it on someone who is less than 5 inches.
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
I'm keeping track of how many times I've said "Shhh, act like you're not naked." in my life. So far, 3 times.
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
So what if you don't want to be with your family. Go drink alone and watch Netflix like a normal person, don't be productive!
I'm killing it this week, I've peed my pants and put my vibrator into the washing machine.
I need to stop adding people I want to bone on LinkedIn.
..... starting now
My makeup bag looks like it has lips and wants to sing to me... Too high?
I'm just now realizing I've slept with guys from three different decades over the past year. That's gotta be some sort of record.
Your dad was just slow dancing with the priest and holding a beer. Classic
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