"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
i wish there was a holiday celebrated with pizza eating
I am officially out of liquor stores within a 15 mile radius that don't recognize me as soon as I walk in the door.
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
I seriously had to check my phone this morning to make sure I didn't agree to any strange sexual favors.
I won the booty shaking contest by mooning the whole bar
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
And one groomsman rode a suitcase cart like a skateboard until he crashed and took out a piece of sheet rock. Later he pulled out his nuts.
After you punched me you ran away and it took an hour to find you... On the wrong floor... Sitting alone saying "it doesnt make sense"
All i remember from last night was that i was sitting on the toilet for a good hour eating a philly cheesesteak hotpocket... then i woke up... in my bed.
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
Randomize
