did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
Last night you told her she was rocking the beer gut. Still wondering why you have that black eye?
haha I love it when I find out that girls who were mean to me in middle school are now some random dude's baby mama. thanks, facebook.
so I made out with a lobbyist last night. im officially a resident of D.C
he keeps trying to sext me and all I can do is respond with descriptions of what im eating.
We left an ass print on the piano.
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
decision: in honor of being in new orleans this weekend all my drunk texts will be en francais
I feel I should make it clear.....I'm not stalking you, I'm stalking ur dick. You don't even need to talk when you get here. At 4am I think we'd both prefer that anyway.
Is this the 6 foot tall blonde I screwed in the bar last weekend?
In the bar?! Very impressive! But keep guessing!
I knew there was a problem when things got heated and instead of rushing home I offered to get bagels instead
"I feel morally obligated to vote for him since he's my drug dealers dad"
I had an awesome dream where you were a stegosaurus and I was a triceratops and we were hiding from a t-rex and had mad dino sex
He's here walking around DRUNK AS FUCK in a Kobe Bryant number 8 jersey... Tucked in.
i just woke up on the desk in his dorm with him snoring in my vagina. better than last week waking up to a different guy puking on my bare ass i guess.
Randomize
