Dude I just witnessed a midget touching himself and singing the chorus to somebodys watching me by michael jackson... it kinda turned me on
my new ipod has external speakers and a video camera...all i can think about is how much more convenient it would be for me to make a pretty decent sex tape
The pick up line I used was "Grab my sack, you'll be back." Then I winked at her.
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
And we should impose a 'friends don't let friends order 25 shots at last call' rule
buying my parents vodka for Christmas is like buying a normal person socks.
what's with the bloody hand print on the hood of your car
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
you got us kicked out of the restaurant for trying to pee in the trash can.
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
You were chugging tap water out of a running blender screaming "bubbles is Perrier mother fucker"
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
He wanted to watch a Charlie Brown thanksgiving. But I was like, fuck that, I'm a grown up. So we watched jumanji and I sucked his dick.
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