Why are you at a bar in Connecticut?
Long story. One that now involves lots of delicious chicken wings om nom nom
I'm so glad you managed to take a picture of your foreskin before you broke my camera.
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
Were you really trying to feed me potato chips while I was sitting on the toilet?
This just became a night full of adventures...and by adventures I mean hitting people with my car
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
Woke up in a wet suit with my junk cut out. In a strange apartment. Just found thing biggest bong u have ever seen. WHERE ARE YOU?!?!?!
I've been told that their best stripper is on maternity leave. NEVER AGAIN.
Important update! My next door neighbours have a canoe. Repeat: THEY HAVE A CANOE! We are having sex in it before this summer is over.
stalking the twitter feeds of girls who have fucked my current fuck buddy makes me glad we use condoms
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
Randomize
