so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
She announced her abortion via fbk
I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
I just got a drinking merit badge from a slutty girl scout
I decided to name her "day after thanksgiving" because I am sure I just got someone elses leftovers.
I just told my boyfriend I think I might be pregnant using Emoji icons....
which icon did you use to tell him he's not the father?
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
Instead of a fine and a few hours in jail he chose to get tasered, break his neck and shit his pants
i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
Her 4ft mother helped 5ft10 passed out me from the car to my girlfriend's bed at 1am...with whopper in hand
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
Wakes up in a cold sweat at 3am, 136 unread messages and the preview on the notification is "I JUST GOT TO THE INCEST PART"
Randomize
