you know what i hate about salt? you can't see it.
just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
I woke up in my girlfriends bed with another guy laying next to me. wtf.
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
It's been a long time since I felt this bad on a Monday... and for that, I thank you.
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
It was either the harsh truths I was divulging or the liquor..... But either way, I made mom puke
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
SPICY FOODS AND BLOWJOBS DON'T MIX.
YOU SAID YOU'D TRY ANYTHING ONCE YOU LIAR
I made a bucket list last night. Number 5: Will marry a wizard.
I’m literally lecturing this class on professionalism, while my body is undoubtably covered in leftover cum from last night. I’m a fucking role model.
Its really hard to take a shit when the dog wont stop trying to crawl into your lap
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