small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
Thru out the entire phone conversation I went from thinking: he's making a gay come-on, to he's trying to sell me drugs, before realizing he was offering me a job with an internet company. Things are gonna be awkward in class this week.
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier.
I am too drunk to deal with your everything. Reread this everytime you feel the need to talk to me.
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
The cop actually kicked the bitches out of the cab so we could get ours. I flipped them all off as the door was shutting. That drunk.
I'm pretty sure my intestines are bleeding but I'm still going to Orlando to catch that orgasm.
Are you aware that you called me "Sexy clit lady" last night?
Drunkenly tried to auction off Merik's pancakes at Ihop. Apparently I make a great auctioneer. Also, no one wants 30 cent pancakes.
We found him. He was passed out in a McDonalds booth with at least 6 big Mac wrappers. The employee said he kept yelling that he was in America and had the freedom to have big macs. Fucking Italians...
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
He asked the waiter, at 6:40 am, drunk, if they served alcohol. After he said no, he's like 'well, I guess we can eat then.'
He sided with his father, so I slashed his tires. I’d say that’s a fair trade.
Randomize
