he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
I hate cats. They're so curious, it's not their damn business.
This is why I'm not putting my name in lights over your bed.
And for 6 straight hours, I laid on my bedroom floor trying to convince myself it would perfectly acceptable to pee on my own floor
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
It never makes you rethink your life choices when you're breaking into my apartment at 3 am to take a piss in my kitchen sink?
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
Remember when I said "no boyfriend, no problems"? I lied. Tequila. Tequila is a problem.
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
i just love the holidays, i hotboxed a gingerbread house last night
He asked me if I want to play Uber Driver, is this some new sex game or is he drunk and asking for a ride home?
Just find a separated / divorcing man. They’re too upset to fall in love, too helpless to be alone and too horny to think straight. Smile at him the right way and he’ll be thrilled to be with a sexy younger woman!
Randomize
