I asked her if she watches the office. She said no, but do you watch I'm a celebrity get me outa here? That's when i knew. Deal breaker
I wish there was a morning after pill that made you instantly sober
I think this baby is eyeing my beer
In your defense, I really thought capturing that alligator would have been a lot more awesome and a lot less tragic.
RIP Mr Bojangles.
Fantastic. I'm pretty cold, tired, dirty, and hungry, but that comes with an adventurous weekend. Who needs a wallet or keys anyway? I could totally be homeless.
i wore a power symbol belly button ring just so i can drunkenly tell him that he turns me on. i dont care if it works i think its classy
It's pretty telling that my resolutions all involve who I will sleep with in 2014.
It's important to play to your strengths.
Started the 4th with a foursome. I don't know if it gets more festive than that. #MERICA
Clearly I was drunk when I met them I gave them a muffin. But they sure remembered me
He took a picture of me to show his boss why he was late...Is that a compliment or not?
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
I'm bleeding and have questions
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
You set a couch on fire in my brothers backyard?
Just the cushions
Randomize
