im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
She's just bitter because she lost all the weight only to discover she doesn't have a pretty face after all.
flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
Watching crazy stupid love and drinking alone isn't what I thought it was gonna be
Its TONS better. Expect a drunk dial at 11:54
So I saw the nuva ring just lying on the counter at Planned Parenthood...did u know it's just a ring? I could go to the Dollar tree buy a plastic bracelet and shove it up there instead.
You do that. Then go have lots of unprotected with your harem of booty calls and see how that works out for you.
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
THEY AREN'T MARRIED. PUT ON YOUR HOMEWRECKING PANTIES AND GET TO WORK. NO EXCUSES.
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
My mom just busted me rolling a blunt on her bathroom counter. ...all she said was fuck it it's Christmas
At least your wife cheated on you. Women will feel bad for you. In a month there will boy bands that are jealous of your dick
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
Randomize
