i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
but the good news is i woke up with 15 dollars in my pocket so i probably sold my phone instead of puking on it
i think i have that disease where you wake up in strange places drunk.
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
Well I turned her sobriety into my own personal drinking game
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
Stop treating my vagina like a slapchop.
I masterbate to the thought of you. You totally aren't just a booty call.
i just got referred to as "the Loch Ness Cockster". God bless my Scottish heritage.
When i was tripping hard i was banging Jeff's roommate and her room turned into Hogwarts
Also when we were banging i thought my high school librarian was perched up on top of the stereo like a gargoyle but it ended up just being her cat
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
You lost to your mom AND grandma in beer pong last night. pretty sure that constitutes a retirement from the sport
Randomize
