I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
The toilet started ringing, I think I just found your phone.
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
You just said we could build a blanket and pillow "fuck fort." Of course I'm never leaving you.
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
First of all you're supposed to say "you're not fat". And second of all never ever deprive me of nachos.
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
Apparently drunk me thought it was a good idea to buy $100 worth of band aids and stick them all over everything in the apartment.
Settled one third of the tab. Am going back for sex. Love you, make friends
Oh my god I haven't had mozzarella sticks since I banged that Applebee's waiter
I just remembered touching your bosses wife's fake tits last night. Thanks again for taking me to your work function.
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