You peed for a solid 5 minutes last night and turned around halfway through to give everyone watching a thumbs up
where are you?
sonic
Good. I hungoveredly cleaned your room. This is what being married is going to be like. I pick the condoms up off the floor and you bring home the hot dogs.
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
What bar did i puke in last night
by bar you must mean bars and by in you must mean on
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
damnit. I just found my cousin on tinder.
Because I know nothing is hotter than ocean themed dick pics on SnapChat...
You were wearing a sequin mini, with Tevas. And you still got laid.
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
Just imagine a dick squawking like a parrot
This is the most exciting thing since movie theater hand jobs
Randomize
