i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
Sometimes I send them texts like "I want to make you cry and lick up your tears" just to fuck with them. And THAT is how you get rid of a Stage 5 clinger.
I think I will be cutting those pills in half...Jesus just tried to sell me a toothbrush.
Dear Penis Owner...our records show that you are overdue for servicing...please contact our friendly associates to schedule a thoroughly satisfying experience today...operators are standing by...
You may see me wearing your shirt to class. It's because I still have the spins and I'm anticipating throwing up on it. Asshole.
So I had a crappy evening so the fat girl in me says eat and cry and watch something sad. The cool girl in me says don't eat go run. So I'm watching family guy and doing crunches w a pickle in my mouth
Gross
AN ACTUAL PICKLE
He used Kanye West lyrics to justify what happened and I accepted his logic
I GOT JUDGED BY A GUY WORKING AT THE LEAST CLASSY STRIP CLUB. Peeing isn't a right, it's a privilege.
There's a lady lying down on the sidewalk in front of our building smoking a cig
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
Woke up to find my underwear in my purse to only remember I took them off at the airport
Fucking hate kids. In particular I hate our kids.
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