i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
he actually used the line "do you have a map, because i'm lost in your eyes" and i was to drunk to care
I spent my night drunkenly staring at a picture of John Stamos. How do you think I feel?
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
Home. Barefoot. Drunk. Crying. Puked. Brushed teeth. Washed face. Dying. Need Cuddle.
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
If I wear a tail on Halloween, how am I supposed to grind? Maybe I will just wear devil horns
I just want to eat Taco Bell and throw it up on his doorstep.
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
Dude so help me god I WILL weigh a penis one day
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
All time low: no dry towels so I'm using the sex towel to dry off
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