he kept farting in my kitchen and blaming it on the dog. then we went to wendy's and he spent twenty minutes in the bathroom. im pretty sure he shit his pants.
you should have known when you found out he drove a mini cooper not to hang out with him.
No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
You were telling me to give my phone mouth to mouth so it wouldn't die.. Should i be worried for you?
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
I just wish he'd leave so I can vomit in peace.
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
I drank a fishbowl of liquor and next thing I know I'm sliding into Zach Galifinakis' DMs
last night is slowly putting itself back together. Its one giant slutty puzzle, all the pieces are covered in tequila and shame.
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
Randomize
