He could be your dad!
We discussed that right before he asked for my number
I asked my mother if she peed on that chair, she said "not bad" There is no good level of pee on a chair.
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
dude all you wanted to do was sleep under a bridge
My heart is having a hard time convincing my vagina he's not worth it.
apparently it isn't appropriate to tell a coworker who is eating celery because it's "negative calories" that a blowjob is too
thanks for paying me in special brownies...but brownies dont pay the rent...anymore.
1. Sorry about making it snow. 2. If it left a mess, I will be over to clean it. 3. Can that fire extinguisher still be used? If not, I'll buy a new one. 4. I just wanted to make it snow!
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
She leaned in close to me, made eye contact, and seriously whispered "I will eat your soul with bacon bits." I want whatever drug she was on.
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
This is like the first time all week I've properly taken my birth control. My ovaries are so stoked I just know it.
She asked me if I could do that to her every single time. I said nope. sometimes it's better.
Randomize
