Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
I woke on the floor next to a big TV. Apparently I traded my bed for a 52 inch samsung and a box of pop tarts.
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
If I had to give her an idea on what it means to be ur date I would compare it to being Ralph macchio's gf in the first karate kid... That's one of the coolest things I've ever said... I love drugs.
Just cried to my husband about how much I'm going to miss my boyfriend... Maybe marriage is going to work for me after all
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
A girl just invited me over for a blowjob and beer. Is this a trap?
I'll just say I told you so at your funeral
you were walking down the sidewalk and just puked. didnt even stop or slow down and just kept going. i was so impressed i didnt even tell anyone you threw up on passing peoples shoes.
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.
This is a mass text. Who in the hell shat on my stairs last night?
If you fucking touch my phone and text people, drunk or sober, ever again, i will shove a swizle stick up your pee hole.
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